Infinata Death RayInfinata Death Ray SketchInfinata Death Ray
G-News Presenter: And now, in a special feature in Good News, we have…we have…actually ***directed off-screen*** …what do we have now?
Off-Screen Dude: Dunno, check the script.
G-News Presenter: Hmm…***sound of ruffling papers***…fascist plot to unleash horde of pigeons upon London, Rolf Harris in zoophilia scandal, Jim Davison is a loony racist bastard…errrmmm…it’s here somewhere.
Off-Screen Dude: Ah, here we go, muddled up the reels, sorry.
G-News Presenter: Ah yes! Thank you, and now, in a special feature in Good News, we bring you Infinata, the Su
Mighty Joe WeevilOne Man’s Struggle Against Close Mindedness and BigotryMighty Joe Weevil
A Modern Fairy Tale by Colm Delaney
Mighty Joe Weevil was a mostly normal 5 year old, imagine a completely average looking boy, white skin, brown hair (although, slightly less tidy than his Mum would like), brown eyes, with almost no distinguishing features whatsoever, and you’ll have an idea what he looked like. Nor does his appearance matter, for it is completely irrelevant, Mighty Bob Weevil himself actually, should have been completely irrelevant. By all rights, he should have got through school, got good grades, got a job or gone to university, found a pret
The End of the EndA pub, in a village, somewhere in Hampshire…The End of the End
“WHAT?” You’re out of your mind son, listen to your elders and betters, the Harlequins will win tomorrow, no ifs or buts”, the old man said, his alcohol-reddened face swelling as he spoke.
“I’m not convinced” said the younger man, thoughtfully sipping his pint as he spoke, “Think about it, Moseley are playing at home, they have the heavier pack, and some damn slippy backs”
“So you say” the old man replied, “What’s the name of the Quin’s captain again, you know, the scrum-half?”
“Will Osborne?”
“That’s the blighter; young lad too, ain
The ZeitgeistG-News Presenter: And now, In our usual weekly supplement, we give you the opinions of various men across the political spectrum on a major event in this weeks headlines. Today in our panel of experts we have Geoffrey Dott XI, of the Guardian newspaper. Also on our panel, Sleaze McBall of the Sun. Lord Ascot of the Daily Mail, and Panzergruppenfuhrer Herr Gerber of the Daily Express.The Zeitgeist
Guardian: Hi.
Daily Mail: Hello.
Daily Express: Don’t talk to me!
The Sun: Heya. (mock-sexy voice)
G-News Presenter: Now that we’ve introduced you, will the panel please direct their eyes to the sh
Grrr.
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"Any problems encountered will by fixed by Service Packs 1,2 and 3. The problems created by these service packs will be ignored by our customer services until the Earth crashes into the Sun" - Wurg
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"Any problems encountered will by fixed by Service Packs 1,2 and 3. The problems created by these service packs will be ignored by our customer services until the Earth crashes into the Sun" - Wurg
~ Clare
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[Clare is] basically the dutchess of twee. - Sam
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